Wrote this a while ago, but I like it…
My life? You don’t know my life. You’d hear my story and still don’t understand. It’s just about the biggest mess ever but it’s all me so I embrace it and accept it as mine.
I’m yet to find myself but I’m slowly understanding who I am and valuing myself… loving myself… being true to myself.
And if not accepted or love or even merely thought about by others, it’s guaranteed that I will be fine. Believe that. I’ve got me and she’s just about enough.
The many attempts of the worst to take it away from me?
No.
It has never worked.
The attempts to take the elements: the simplicity, the ethnicity, the vivid character, the dance, all that defines?
And what is it to you?
You don’t know me. You don’t love me. You don’t want me. So leave me. Let me be.
The serenity will soothe my inner panic, will center me and I will feel myself again.
Worry may you not.
My thoughts are sane though I keep my distance.
A thousand miles away from complexity but that’s okay. Because I understand me and I like me. Hell, I love me more than the stars in the sky.
But he who may come along and knock me off my own pedestal, placing me one created, he who altered the outlook, entering my soul and by gathering and sharing minds making me feel like I was compulsory.
To him anyway.
Then, to offer it all to be taken for granted and disappointed and destroyed.
Comeuppance is beyond unnecessary.
It is torture enough to miss something so much; something that wasn’t even yours to beginning with.
It’s a damn shame you lost it.
However, bitter and cynical are not characteristics and are not feelings true at heart.
One stone in the road; bigger obstacles ahead.
Who feels it knows it.
I’m amazing. Fuck you.
One doesn’t quite understand all the ways of the world. One doesn’t at all want to either.
Life will take its course. No butterfly effect.
And mine in particular?
As confusing as it ever will be.
And love and hate will share the crown.
But it’s mine and it’s just fine.
